


Blue (Judas)

by eruriotica (minxiebutt)



Series: Blue [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Codependency, Competition, Control Issues, Domestic Violence, F/M, Jealousy, Mild Sexual Content, Possessive Behavior, Public Display of Affection, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-11-02 01:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minxiebutt/pseuds/eruriotica
Summary: Levi can't let anyone else have her.





	Blue (Judas)

Levi is so used to having her cling to him, like a parasite attached to his hip, that he can feel it as soon as she makes a new friend. He gives her an entire twenty-four hours to tell him about it, because honestly, she tells him _everything_; but two more days pass and not a word about it from her. He takes the initiative to snoop through her phone one night when he can’t sleep and he finds his answer all too easy. 

In the morning, she doesn’t ask why it’s sitting on the kitchen counter, dead, instead of charging on the bedside table. The week carries on like normal.

There’s voices in the hallway but Levi doesn’t give a shit until the voices stop right outside his door, letting him clearly make the voices out. It’s Nana with a man. Levi stands there on the balcony, looking through the kitchen to the front door, watching her spill into the apartment with a huge stupid smile on her stupid fucking face. She startles when she sees him, a kid with her hand in the cookie jar. 

Levi pounces with the ease of a predator that knows the prey is weak. “Who the _fuck_ was that?”

“No one!” Nana jumps at her own lie, giving up, “Just a friend for work.”

Turning his back to her, Levi leans on his elbows on the balcony and stuffs the end of his cigarette into the soil of a potted plant. When he comes back inside, Nana is already in the shower, and he strips down to join her.

“Who was it, babe?” He quietly asks, wrapping his arms around her. She leans her head back to nudge against his. Affection always wins her trust, no matter how many times he will betray it. He cannot shatter it; it is elastic. 

“His name’s Mike,” she confesses as if confessions are safe with him, as if he is Father Levi bound by oath. “We work nights together. He’s really nice.”

Levi kisses the side of her throat, marking the calm pulse therein. “Why did Mike walk you home?”

“He… saw the bruise on my arm,” she whispers, tucking chin to chest. “I told him I fell in the stairwell. He just wanted to make sure I got here safe.”

“Don’t let him do it again, Nana.” Snaking fingers into her blonde, Levi grips a tight fist and yanks her head back at an unnatural angle. He hisses against her jaw, “I mean it.”

“I’m sorry,” she gasps, suddenly tense down to her soapy toes but neither defensive nor offensive— only passive. She takes what he gives, without fail. “I won’t, I promise!”

Levi doesn’t reply as he releases her. She finishes washing first and leaves him alone in the shower, a rare occurrence. She _usually_ waits for him to get out first. When he finally makes it to bed, she’s tucked into her side, telltale glow of her phone. The glow extinguishes and the lock clicks like she’s guilty, but it’s too late at night for Levi to start the kind of fight he craves over this.

With Nana on closing shifts more and more, Levi’s been getting home before her, so he takes a detour tonight just to ensure that no one else walks her home. He arrives at the pizza parlour and knocks on the glass to catch Nanaba’s attention as she turns chairs over onto tables; she waves with a wide smile when she sees him. It’s highly unusual for him to put this much effort in. She hurries to the doors, unlocking one and cracking it. 

“Hey,” she murmurs, looking so happy to see him here, to see him making a move that he doesn’t have to make. “Want to sit inside? I’m almost done.”

“Sure.” Levi follows her in and sits at the booth closest to the door. There’s tacky pop synth music bumping out from the kitchen, the sound of a male voice joining when Nana disappears around the corner. He leans his head back to rest his eyes. The smell of floor cleaner reaches his nose and he’s sure Nana’s mentioned before that mopping is the final chore of the night, so she really is just about done. Good, because he doesn’t wanna have to wait too long on her.

Laughter comes in a tsunami wave out from the kitchen alongside the music, and Levi grits his teeth with how the sound heats his face. It’s been a really long time since he heard Nana laugh like that, and it’s all the more enraging because it’s not _him_ responsible for it, when he wants to be her only happiness. Nanaba still has a stupid fucking smile on her face when she comes back into the dining area, looking over her shoulder with a cheerful, “You, too! Goodnight.”

Whoever is in the kitchen reciprocates her parting, but she’s already looking at Levi like he brought the world to her. Just that look cools his head a fraction. It’s not so hard to pretend, then, that she’s so happy because of him coming to get her. That could be the reason. He could let himself believe the lie for a while. 

Levi tries to fight Mike’s influence on Nana silently at first, but she’s texting more and more, coming home late more and more, leaving him to assume who is on the other end of her messages. So, he takes her out to dinner one night at a place where Levi has no interest in the menu, just because he knows how much she likes it. He plies her with alcoholic beverages and splurges on a cab ride home so he can get inside her while she’s still drunk. She clings needily to him in bed that night and for once, he doesn’t smack her off. He lets her smother, lets her cling, because he wants to show her why he’s better than _anyone_ else could be to her. 

She worships at the altar of his body like never before, uninterrupted now without him brushing her off this time. Hands cup his cheeks, attempting to hold him still as he thrusts, so that she can lick a stripe up his neck. Since he isn’t making her knock it off, Levi can see the expanse of her affection, an endless ocean of blue that could drown him if he allowed it. Her devotion to him, so fucking loyally unquestioning, outlined with her prayer of how much she loves him. Over and over again, he hears his name, a declaration. It feeds his possessiveness and nourishes it until it grows teeth and bites the tender nape of his neck. _That’s right,_ it whispers. _Nana belongs to him_. She belongs to him because he is the only one who can have her.

He brings one hand up around her throat and squeezes just enough, just lets his thumb flirt with her thrumming vessels so that she whines beneath him. Their eyes meet and she nods. She’s grown used to the tendrils of sadism that make him want to fuck her good and hard. Levi knows he didn’t used to be this way, but she makes it so easy. She’s so fucking easy.

Afterward, she lays nestled into his side and dreamily whimpers, happy sounds for once. She’s all tuckered out, a devout little saint who has prayed and worshipped to her heart’s content. And all toward him. He wants that, wants to have that level of attention from her forever. It’s dangerous, maybe, but she makes it easy.

Levi’s sitting at the front of his shop, safely protected from the street view by the small wall around the receptionist’s space, counting out the till and balancing the card receipts, when a knock sounds off from the glass door. He raises his head, finding the backlit outline of a giant stranger before his eyes settle on the familiar blue and blonde standing beside.

Warily, his eyes drift back to the giant as he moves over to let her in. This must be the aforementioned Mike, but what’s he doing walking Nana fucking _anywhere_ at night? Didn’t Levi tell her not to let that happen ever again? Does he need to remind her?

Levi unlocks and cracks the door. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she chirps, moving herself sideways to fit between Levi and the door, sliding into the shop. As she does, Levi watches the way Mike watches her.

“Thanks,” he says to the giant. A passing courtesy only, because he doesn’t want this man anywhere near her. His stomach feels like a molten pit and his fingers itch for the comforting grip of a cigarette between ring and pinkie. 

“Don’t mention it,” the other says, foreign accent that Levi can’t place. “She’s always got so many bruises on account’a her falling all the time.”

“Yeah,” Levi vaguely agrees. He’s been careful now that he knows someone looks at her skin that way, and it makes him angry to have to adjust his behaviour for an interloper that should not be. 

The giant looks like he wants to say something else, to intrude in some way, but in the end, he steps back and waves at Nana over Levi’s shoulder before striding with purpose out of sight. Levi closes the door and locks it once more, not bothering to look and see if Nana waved back. It burns in his veins enough as it is. If she’s encouraging this man’s obvious interest, he knows the burn will scald him down to ashes. She should only want him. He wants her to _only want him._

It’s a fight at home just the way he wants it. Three in the morning, no shouting to draw attention, just his anger and frustration ebbing out with each blow until he’s relieved.

If he calls it a fight, he doesn’t have to call it what it actually is.

For a few weeks, Levi forces himself to adjust to Mike’s presence hovering on the border of his relationship to Nanaba. He’ll see the guy in passing some nights, and Levi’s started to take the initiative to pick her up from work just to keep her from being alone with Mike longer than he wants. He even gets revenge for Mike’s wandering eyes with his own stray hands and possessive affection, just when he knows the other man is watching. If Nana’s truly oblivious to the reason behind his sudden spike in public displays, then her reactions feed in perfectly to the image he wants to portray. Levi’s never been one to put his arm around a lover’s waist, to drag them down for kisses that evolve too quickly too steamily, but Nana’s so fucking stupid that she plays right into his palm. 

Levi’s gotten bolder though, and tonight as he stands outside the pizza parlour, Nana’s waist looped beneath his arm, Levi lets the word “girlfriend” fall oh so casually out of his mouth. Next to him, she’s in a fit of giggles at the title. He’s never used it before, even though they’ve been through more than most dating couples would weather together. 

Mike is clearly unimpressed, just as Levi hoped he’d be. The look on his face is a challenge; he knows exactly what game Levi is playing.

“Goodnight,” Nana chirps as she’d led away by Levi, who waits just a dozen paces before he looks over his shoulder at Mike and reaches down to grope a handful of ass. He thinks he can see nostrils flare.

All the extra attention serves to water Nana until she’s thriving like the plants she buys for the balcony. She’s a little more happy to let Levi persuade her toward things that make her cry during sex, because he asks so nicely and because she knows how much more he likes it this way. So, she bites her bottom lip when it hurts, sweats and shudders through the assault, but gives him control. He wants that control so badly, wants to know he’s the only man who will ever have a chain wrapped this tight around her throat, a rope this tight around her wrist. She is his.

Mike’s patience for Levi’s flaunting runs out on the night Nana’s got a bruise too big to hide on her jaw. He doesn’t even remember what made him so angry to backhand her hard enough to press a neat little galaxy in such a visible place.

On a foggy night, Nana lets Levi into the parlour and before he can get a kiss in, Mike’s demanding from behind her, “Do you hit her, Levi?”

Levi wants to ignore it, and Nana’s only got eyes for him; big, watery, blue eyes that look afraid.

“I told him you don’t,” she whispers, but the way her voice shakes and rasps makes the lie so stupidly evident. If she said it like that to Mike, no wonder he doesn’t believe her. 

Levi goes through with the affection he’d begun. He leans up and presses a kiss to her lips, watching the way she closes her eyes and accepts it. “Go wait outside, babe,” he instructs. Whatever’s gonna go down, he doesn’t want her within striking distance. He’s gotta protect her from Mike.

Levi stands firm in front of Mike, waiting until the door closes to speak. “What makes you think I hit my girlfriend?”

Mike’s not falling for it. He’s rightfully been building up to this accusation, Levi can tell. Mike’s been waiting for the right time to pounce like a white knight coming in on a horse to save the fair maiden. But Nana is no maiden; she’s damaged goods and Levi holds her in the palm of his hand. Pulling himself to full height, Mike says, “Cut the bullshit. I’ve seen the bruises and cuts. I _know_ you hit her.”

Levi shrugs, which probably isn’t the wisest thing to do when facing a much larger man who wants to take his girlfriend away and lay a claim on her. But if he stays calm, he can play it off a little better. “I don’t hurt her,” Levi insists. “I love her, and I wouldn’t do anything to harm her.”

Mike looks about ready to lurch forward and take him by the collar of his shirt, but Levi’s not afraid. If Mike makes the first move, whatever he does afterward becomes self-defense, becomes protecting himself and his poor girlfriend from a threat. 

“You’re a fucking liar,” Mike hisses, showing his weakness too soon. He’s too invested in Nanaba to think his actions through. From his peripherals, Levi witnesses the forming fists. He’s ready, he braces himself for it.

He is stern. “I don’t hit her. I love her.”

“You should see,” Mike seethes, “the way she looks when I ask her about her bruises, you son of a bitch. You should see how scared she is, how she curls up like she don’t like to lie ‘bout it. What do you do to make her stay?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Levi transfers his weight from one foot to the other without looking away from the man before him. 

“You treat her like shit but every night when you come pick her up, she’s like a little puppy waiting for her master. And you abuse her!”

“Look—“

“No,” Mike interrupts. “What the fuck? What kind of man are you?”

“Alright, I’m done here.” Levi goes to turn and leave, too tired to play twenty-accusations this late at night. But Mike takes his arm roughy, yanks Levi back in place, and it happens so fast, the door opening, soft slender arms wrapping around Levi from behind. Nanaba puts herself in harm’s way, stepping around to his front, leaning down to bury her face in his neck. She introduces moisture to his skin. She’s crying.

“Let’s go home,” she whispers, pleads. 

Levi doesn’t even realise his fist was raised until his arm drops and swings limply at his side, and then he recovers and brings it to envelop her shoulders. Levi looks into her blonde hair and kisses the crown, then looks up at Mike, who’s taken a few steps back though he looks even more upset now that Nana’s pushed her way between them.

“Nanaba, I—“ Mike begins, but he falls silent to hear what she whispers to Levi.

With her forehead on her boyfriend’s shoulder, she makes it clear to the opponents. “You’re the only one I want. You’re my everything, Levi. Only you.”

It breaks the tension in the room and Levi knows he doesn’t have to fight. Somehow, he knows that Mike will listen to these words even though there’s so much painful defeat written in his features. And now Levi feels a relief that he doesn’t have to play along with this anymore. Even if Mike walks Nanaba home every night from now on, this moment serves as the end of his pursuit. From now on, Nana safely belongs to Levi like she _always_ has.

No good deed goes unrewarded. When they finally make it home, the silence between them carries over into the apartment. Levi follows her into the shower, takes her under the hot water until it runs cold onto them, and parts from her just long enough to dry their bodies and sink her down into the bed.

He’s gentle to her, and it doesn’t turn him on, not the way watching her cry for him does, but he can see how much she needs this tenderness. Levi wants to show her that she did the right thing, that he appreciates her choice. 

Three days pass in which Nana leaves her phone by the door when they get home, her attention solely focused on Levi. They spend their day off together without putting clothes on at all, instead rolling around in bed for the entire day, breaking from their coupling only for Levi to smoke and for her to eat. They cover their sheets in wet spots, and Nana shoos him from bed in the middle of the night so that she can dress the bed in clean linens for proper slumber, but those end up wet, too.

In a way, Levi is relieved when Mike finally shows his face at the shop one afternoon. The man’s anger is more muted now, laced with dejection.

“I don’t know what you fucking did to her to make her afraid to even look at me,” he grits between his teeth, “but if I ever see another bruise on her, I’ll break both your fucking hands.”

“Sure,” Levi chirps, emulating the tone and cadence so specific to Nanaba that Mike actually backs up. Then, he snarls, “Now get the fuck outta my shop.”

Not even a whole week later, Nana comes to the shop several hours before she was supposed to get off work. She gives her phone to Levi and explains that she’s rather distressed by a message from a certain someone. Levi finds it, reads it, reads it twice._ How is someone amazing like you with an asshole like him?_ Levi doesn’t delete the message or the thread attached to it. Instead, he places her phone face down on the counter and pulls her into an embrace so that she can find solace in crying to him. A friend has betrayed her trust and broken it completely by insisting that Levi is bad for her. She can’t believe it. 

But Levi finds a certain safety in how easily others lose her trust, when he himself should not hold so much of it. And it feels so good when she cries like this, all heavy heaving sobs, snotty nose, and incoherent noises; when she seeks only _him_ in these hours of intense need.

That night, after he closes and locks the door, he puts a small tattoo on her, a thin collection of lines that trails down to her elbow from the wrist, something for only him, something sacredly understood only between them, something he can easily recreate a counterpart for on his own skin. He’s been wanting to etch a symbol for her along the scar where she saved his life, and now he knows what to decorate that scar with. They’ll match on their forearms, two stupid idiots forever linked in more ways than one. 

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. next I will post part 4, the surprising happy ending that they find years down the road.


End file.
